Well Hello there 1994!

Tonight, my past seemed to slap me in the face. From the music to the clothes. It was a giant flashback.

It started on my way home from work. As I was singing along to "Musta Got Lost" by the J. Giels Band.. I had a flashback to 1994...

Picture it.. Roslindale...1994....me and a few of my friends... known back then as the "CHP"--Cherry Hill Posse--driving around in my moms white Chevy Baretta. I had just had my heart broken by a boy named Sean (I should have learned my lesson then!) and "Musta Got Lost" comes on the radio. I had never heard it before as my taste in music back then was less than stellar.  As tears stream down my face, my friend Rob belts out this song in my face. Making me smile and laugh and think.."Hell yeah I musta been lost to like this clown!" Hearing that today had me thinking... I got over that and I will get over this.

In a different form of a flashback.. I had one tonight at bowling. (yes I bowl. Mock if you must) I was thinking back to the way we used to dress!  It's a wonder I got scooped on at all!  Big bangs, TONS OF HAIRSPRAY, pegged pants, Izod sweaters (just for you Joanne!) and turtle necks.. folded down so my chain could swing! Let us not forget the braces, Adidas aqua jackets and Gazelles. Oh my.

But my love life was simpler then. All I had to worry about was keg cup money, what time the bus came, if my mother would know I was drunk or not (she ALWAYS knew by the way) and if anyone would ask me on a "walk." And one night...my friends hooked me up with my first "Sean." We went for our "walk" and fell in love. Well, at least I did. And that's when the hopeless romantic in me was born.  What if he is THE ONE?  Does he like me back? Will he be my boyfriend?  I wanted all of those things and all right away. But those things never happened and I was devestated. Why didn't he like me? What's wrong with me?

If I only knew then what I know now! I would have realized that it was just a hookup. Not true love. And that he was a fucking fool for being a dick to me and I should have kicked him in the nuts when I had the chance. However, I didn't and I can't say for certain that I do now.. but I do know that if I got over that heartbreak and don't think about him (unless I see him... :) ) then this too shall pass.

Maybe FuckFace is not the one for me. Maybe he is. All I know is that NOBODY should be made to feel like they are not good enough. That they are not worthy of someone. And if he wants me back.. things are going to have to change! I might have "been lost" before, but you better believe, I have found my way.